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As I get older, increasingly I discover people my age or younger doing things that seem as though I could've done them. The "I could've ___ that" phenomenon. It's strange for someone who has been culturally isolated for most of her life to find people who speak for or to her at all. It's unnerving. It makes me feel average. A product of my times, even though I'm not; a product of other times, maybe.

Perhaps it's just that increasingly possibilities are becoming realized, so some of those I might've been able to realize are also being realized by other people. And as I continue on the path I've found, I realize possibilities there. Yet culturally, it feels as though I ought to be realizing all those I'm capable of, putting the unique combination of influences that I embody to every use possible. That other people will end up doing it for me is at once comforting and saddening.

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apolliana

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